I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
