never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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