omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
