Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
