She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
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