I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize