I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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