We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
