I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
