Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
