Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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