just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
