every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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