It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
