Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
