omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
