the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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