Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
