You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was CRYING into my vagina
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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