glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
