he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
