Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
