id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
How external is "for external use only"?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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