in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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