can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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