Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
