smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
