Swine flu. Run for my life!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
