I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
