She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
