Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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