I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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