his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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