I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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