I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
