Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize