in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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