Jerry, you need to find god
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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