i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
