I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
