my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
