You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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