So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
