I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
