If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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