after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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