My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
