I hate all girls vehemently.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
