You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
