he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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