it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
operation have a gay friend backfired
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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