i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
