there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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