And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
