Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
