You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
