doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
