Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
