oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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