You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
