My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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