You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Your penis caused this!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
