how can u be prego again
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
